AUTHOR ALLSORTS

A group of published UK-based authors and illustrators of picture books, children's and YA.

Dawn Kurtagich’s LEGENDARY Tea Party, Featuring HORROR and FEMINISM.

When I was posed the question: “Dawn, which authors, dead or alive, would you invite to a tea party?” I knew that my tea party would be the most epic, delicious, rambunctious tea party to ever have been tea-d.

Firstly, the decorations would look like this:

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The tea cups:

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The chairs:

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No tea party could possibly be complete without a mad hatter or tea pot mouse. For that reason, my first guest of honour to the Kurtagich tea party would be:

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Lewis Caroll, the one and only. The mind that created Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass would surely have much to offer in the way of interesting conversation (we can forgive him for being a highly logical man). Plus, I believe in my heart of blackest hearts that Caroll would have a thing to say about tea (Tea being a Very Important Topic of Conversation) and the Jabberwocky. Oh, the delightfully insane conversations we would have.

 

Speaking of insane… my next guest would need to be someone who ‘became insane, with horrible intervals of long sanity”, the one and only (can you guess?) Edgar Allan Poe:

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Poe might tell us spooky stories of telltale hearts, of falling houses of Usher while we slurp at our dragon’s blood tea (does that exist? Oh, please tell me it does!) and crunch on our raspberry tea-cakes.

 

Let’s send an invitation Stephen King’s way as well. I am certain he would have many interesting and phobic tales to add to Poe’s macabre, gothic style. I wonder if our tea party would be one terrifying urban legend…?

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Mark Z. Danielewski and Haruki Murakami would arrive, of course, and have us questioning if we really were at a tea party at all … or whether it was just an empty room and a fifty year sword…

 

 

 

The other lady at my party would be Caitlyn Moran, Feminist-comedian-author-journalist-mum extraordinaire! Let’s get a gender discussion going, eh?

 

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And speaking of amazing women: OPRAH.

 

oprah

 

MY TEA PARTY WINS.

 

Next up: George R.R. Martin, to liven up our terribly sad little doom and gloom party with some heroic and blood-filled tales of the battle for the Iron throne. Of course, the story would take a very, very, very long age (excellent planning, Dawn, your tea party is going to be LEGENDARY).

 

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Speaking of legendary, and considering that there would be plenty of dairy at the tea party, my final guest would be Neil Patrick Harris, because: let’s face it, he’s worth breaking the rules for, and he would bring everyone a suit.

 

Legen-dary Tea Party, suited up, and: Done.

 

Dawn,

out.

 

Dawn Kurtagich is the author of THE DEAD HOUSE and THE CREEPER MAN and has a YouTube channel where she unleashes all her crazy. To find out more, check out her Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and her Website.

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About Dawn Kurtagich

I am the author of The Dead House, The Creeper Man / And The Trees Crept In, and Naida. I vlog over at WritaholicDK on youtube, and I really love paint. You are all my happy bananas.

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