A group of published UK-based authors and illustrators of picture books, children's and YA.
Rich, Famous and Happy!*
Look, don’t listen to these writers telling you that being published isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We’re poor? Ha! Lonely and unrecognised? Rubbish. Unhappy and dissatisfied with almost every success? I deny this completely. I deny it all, I tell you. The truth is that we’re all loaded, famous and infinitely smug about our lot in life. So please start showing us the respect we deserve.
Firstly, who says writers aren’t rich? Pah! I’m minted, and I’d show you my diamond encrusted tiara to prove it, except my PA just locked it in the safe along with my gold bullions. And anyway, to get you into my castle you’d need to find a way over the champagne-filled moat. The helicopter is out of use at the moment, I’m afraid. Actually, I better call my agent about that, tell her to sort it ASAP. That’s what agents are for, see – getting stuff done.
Secondly, let me just confirm that, yes, writers do count as celebrities. And being a celebrity is hard. Really hard. Everyone stares at the jars of caviar in your shopping basket at Fortnum and Mason (being loaded, I won’t shop anywhere else). And just try buying Itchy Rash Cream from the chemist when everyone recognises you. It’s painful being a famous writer. Literally. Although it does have up sides obviously, like always getting a table in a busy restaurant or being invited to the Milan fashion shows. That’s cool. That’s always happening to me.
But the biggest fib writers spin is that writing does not infinitely improved the quality of one’s life. Some writers pretend that all their problems (like rising damp or ingrown toenails) didn’t vanish into thin air once they signed a publishing contract. Well, let me tell you that actually, being a writer makes all the other bad stuff go away. I’m now filled from top to toe with confidence, joy and sagacity. Not only that, but the day I got my book deal was the happiest day of my life. The birth of my daughter did come close, but you know, not quite. The book deals are what make me happy, and being a published writer is, I believe, the only way for anyone to truly become a whole person.
*This blog is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used to advance the fictional narrative. All other characters and incidents are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.
Sarah Crossan writes novels for children and teens. Her debut novel in verse, The Weight of Water, was shortlisted for the Carnegie medal in 2013. Breathe was nominated for the Carnegie medal in 2014. Before writing full time, Sarah worked as an English teacher. She grew up in Ireland and England and then moved to New York, where she lived for seven years. She now lives in Hertfordshire with her family where she spends most of her day writing, sipping green tea and eating far too many biscuits.